A Christmas Wish

I remember as a child,

the warmth of a mother's embrace.

In arms of love, protection

wears a mother's love on her face.

A father who taught me to fish

and kick a ball through a tyre.

The fatherly pat on my dad's knee

beckons a cuddle by the fire.

It wasn't the races I ran

that filled me with pride.

I wore a son's smile

as my father ran by my side.

A kiss on the forehead

before you tucked me into bed.

Send me into a safe slumber

as you pulled blankets to my head.

It's been years since we talked

and I wonder if there are moments

that you think about who I am

and about the decision, you have chosen.

Was it my mental health?

Did I cause you worry and strife?

Tell me, is it easier now

that I'm not included in your life?

I would love to sit down with you

and show you who I am.

Just a moment to let you see

how your child became a man.

I want to see that look on your face

when you see what I have become.

To see that look of pride in your smile,

that reflects your oldest son.

If you don't want to see me

and don't care to know me at all,

can I ask for one favour?

I won't ask you anymore.

When you see someone who struggles

and finds it hard in daily life -

can you help them when they ask you,

can you be the one who offers advice?

Because mental health doesn't lessen a son,

and pretending doesn't make it go away.

It needs to be talked about

and family needs to stay

So if you feel you want to

know your son as a man,

I'm going to be here waiting

for my mum and my dad.