Conversations with depression

Updated: Dec 30, 2018


ME


“So I have some questions I would like you to answer”


depression


“Why do you need to know the answers

that you stopped asking long ago

I have taught you everything you need

and everything you ought to know".


"But go ahead and ask the questions

I’m sure the answers will be the same

they are ones I have whispered to you

when we started this fun little game”.



ME

“I think I found out some things

that you haven’t been honest about.

Things that you have hidden from me

words laced with lies throughout".


"So, if you don’t mind

if you have the time to spare

can you give me just one moment of your time

to answer the questions I have to share".


depression


“The moments we share together

are valuable to me for sure.

I don’t mind repeating myself

as I have done so many times before”.


But I notice that you spell my name wrong

you’re spelling it different than before.

I have earned that mark of honor and respect

why you changed it I am unsure".


ME


“So here’s the thing as a point of interest

of the reason for the lowercase

I’ve done some investigating of my own

around the respect that you embraced".


"It seems your character is in dispute

but I’m sure you already knew

that your references are not held in high regard

and your words aren’t entirely true”.


depression


“ Oh I see the problem here

you have misunderstood the tone

It’s not MY belief that’s important here

It’s your belief that carries it’s own".


You see, everything I say comes true

you just confirm what you already know

I just echo your past mistakes

then sit back and enjoy the show”.


Me


“See now you’re good at that

turning it around to self blame

but there is one thing I am learning

that you and I are NOT the same".


"So stay there for a while

the rules are about to change

this conversation is far from over

it’s time to play my game".


"I read the book you wrote for me

I'm gonna point out the ones you got wrong

the new author is about to change the content

so sit back and play along".


depression


“I’m uncomfortable with this conversation

you almost sound like you own me

this dialog has a different feel

to the words you used to show me".


"I don’t like the determination in your voice

is there a problem with what I said

I remember when you were so much quieter

When I would speak for you instead".


“But give it time and you will come back to me

then all will be forgiven

It's never the same when you’re not here

You're the product of my creation".


"I will always be here whenever you need me

I’m never too far away

I will always keep arms open for you

I’m your protective self-made hideaway”


ME



"You said to me once that I’m not worth much at all

But I'm not entirely sure that was true

You told me that my value was less

and it could only be found with you".


“So you can start to let go of me

I have already start that process

I’m a little bit stronger than I was before

And I believe you a little less".


"There is a small part of me I hid from you

that is growing bigger by the day

It’s a little bit of me inside

That you can never take away".


"You tried to cover it over

with your lies and your deceit

I will be saying it more often these days

That I am NOT your defeat


“Your weakness no longer has ownership over me

your words have a softer blow

you have hidden a lot of things from me

that are important for me to know”.


"Like you’re very selfish and very needy

in your weak and unstable foundation

but have you got a backup plan

when this life becomes my creation!"


"I’m tired of the weight of you

and I’m tired of you holding me down

I’m not the person you think I am

you no longer get to push me around".


depression


“But I have spent many year in labour

making this home just for you

the set up in this home is personal

it’s a comfortable home for two".


"The acoustics in there is perfect

from the lowly sound you make

the echo has lasted for days and months

from my voice that you imitate".


"I have designed this house with plenty of windows

so you can stop and enjoy the view

the mirrored windows capture you perfectly

framed by the fragments of what used to be you".


"My mark lays embedded in you

it shows up well in what you’re reflecting

you are the product of my careful design

It’s my outline that you are projecting".


Do you like the decor in this house?

does it appeal to your sense of taste?

I try to keep it simple for you

somewhere you can call home and embrace".


ME


"You see, it’s time for a closer examination

it’s time for me to review

maybe it’s time to start to remove

all the things that are untrue".


"When I started to peel of the wall paper you hung

and found a little of me under cover

I saw the depth of the lost part of me

the part you desperately try to smother".


"The deeper I went

the more I discovered

that I’m not the thin slimy Clingfilm

that you so meticulously covered".


"I can see my true worth behind your lies

it’s been there all along

I can see the strong bits of me under you

it’s about now you may want to hold on".


Cause this ride’s about to get bumpy

its gonna shake the foundations of your lies

cause what you once told me was truth

is gonna be the start of your demise".


To be continued

…By you


Andre

28 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Your phoenix

The dust created by your phoenix of yesterday creates the new phoenix that rises today. One does not exist without the help of the other the ashes of old resting on the seeds of the new. And from ther

The Mirror

You look in the mirror like you are a prisoner of your past Like you captured it and still possess it as you stare at yourself with eyes of self judgement and condemnation. You look in the mirror and

What you will learn in life

You will learn to be human to each other until you learn to use your differences as barriers. You will learn to see the good in people until you find it easier to judge and label. You will learn to pl

© Evolve Peer Support Trust 2019