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Paralyzed by Jealousy

I want to draw but I'm sitting here frozen, staring at the pencil, paper, and eraser in front of me. I want to write but I'm sitting here frozen, unable to find words that aren't a waste of your time. It doesn't matter if we are good at something, if we have that narrative going through our mind telling us that we aren't good enough, we never will be. For me it's a catch-22, drawing and writing are things I am good at and they give me a sense of purpose and worth. However, I struggle to get started or feel what I do is worthwhile because of the scripts I have playing over in my mind. The sad thing is that I know the things that were said to me weren't even true, it was said out of spite and jealousy to make the other person feel better about themselves. All these years later and their words still paralyse me, they still make me feel worthless, their voices still play over in my mind. The other people from these situations probably don't even recall saying these things that hinder me being able to enjoy what I'm good at but I certainly remember. It really shows how mindful we need to be of the words we use. If someone is better than you at something just appreciate their talents, look at how you can learn from them to become better yourself. Please don't speak negativity to people to make yourself feel better because at the end of the day you're only cheating yourself an opportunity for growth and you're hurting the people around you as well. You learn and grow more from supporting and encouraging the people around you. The way we speak to others has a massive impact on the opportunities we are presented with. Choose your words carefully, they really do have a greater impact than you could ever imagine; if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. If you wouldn't want something said to you, it's safe to say you probably shouldn't say it to others. Spread kindness not negativity 🙂

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