Unproud
I didn’t run as fast as you wanted
I slurped my drink too loud
I didn’t think before I spoke
Another day feeling unproud
I didn’t feel like myself today
I got picked on for not fitting in
I went to school feeling a little bit worthless
I need a safe place to breathe in
You spend less time with me
Am I as annoying as you say
Why do I frustrate you so much
When your unproud is on display
Sometimes I lay awake at night
Thinking of what I can do
To earn the title of proud
To be the expectation of you
If you want you can whisper it
When I’m asleep in my bed
That’s better than the option
Of showing your unproud instead
I thought I saw it shinning once
In the part of your fathers eyes
So I tried to hold onto it tight
But it wept through my heart and died
As the years live their life around me
I still wait in my wonder
Hoping you would one day show me
How you wear your proud as a father
In the place reserved for you
It’s a feeling that always beckons
But I have learnt to cover the need
Thanks for teaching me that lesson
So I’m just gonna pretend
And to imagine you said it loud
You still got time
Its never too late
To show me I’m your proud
These three words
“I’m so proud”
Are sitting in the space of your children
Make it said loud
And show it louder
Because when it’s not said and meant
It’s the silence of the noise that is deafening